NDA Rants(?): We Wish you a Merry Halloween.

It's that time again!
The weather gets way too cold.
the leaves turn all kinds of colors and fall to the Earth below.
and of course, how can we forget- SPOOKY SCARY SKELETONS!


small memes aside, I don't know about the rest of you but Halloween (or cultural iterations like All Hallow's Eve or i suppose Dia de los Muertos) Is the definitive Holiday of Fall/Autumn, when things are chilly without being outright frozen, people don all sorts of crazy outfits for finding candy, playing pranks, and generally having a good time before the weather goes from cold to the friggin Ice Age.

Or you live in my neighborhood, and no one cares to partake in this crazy holiday where all kinds of terrible things happen on this witching night, instead barring the doors, shutting off the lights, and hoping Satan's hold on the world can be stopped by your front door. Depressing.


But as bitter as i am about the people i live around, None can deny this is one of the best holidays of the year, everyone can join in and join!

"Aren't you a bit old to be trick-or-treating?"

le sigh.... really, is there something wrong with wanting free candy? these outfits probably cost more than the candy bag you know. Then i had to walk over here, looking some degree of weird, quite possibly in some degree of discomfort, you could just respect the effort in the spirit of the holiday and gimme some candy, but no, no... it's hard being an adult...


But of course, Every time about this year, corporations just have to absolutely RUIN the atmosphere.
It's Halloween! spooky scary skeleton and witchs and..... Santa Claus...?
WHY!?!!???!??

You know, if i had to go down the list of holiday related merchandise, i don't think i could find a single holiday more hilariously opposed to the spirit of Halloween, than Christmas. Maaayyyyybe Easter, I haven't really put much thought into that admittedly.
But seriously! Can you wait? it's 2 months out, you'll ship things before then! Sell it with the Thanksgiving stuff, that at least makes sense right? Why Halloween!?

Every single year now, the try to pawn off some "Ho Ho ho" with your "Yar har har", How is this practice still being observed? I don't buy Christmas stuff around Halloween, Do you? No?
Christmas, discarding obvious and immense religous significance for the sake of a universal argument, is a holiday in the spirit of peace and togetherness. brings gifts, mend old bridges, come together as one people in warmth and happiness to fight this bitter cold that plagues us every year in the form of the season of winter! Maybe have some fun snowball fights or something.

But simply, Christmas is about warm feels, making other people happy in hopes they'll make you happy, being honest and kind, Christmas miracles and all that. Why in the name of all that is pixelated would You try and sneak that in with the other holiday about the dead, creepy things, maliciousness and bribery!? Seriously, Halloween may be all fun and games in practice but have you ever thought of the concept of trick-or-treat? Ever? No? It's literally "gimme candy or i'll make something bad happen to you"
Conceptually, it's part birbery, part-extortion, under the guise/mask of whoever/whatever you're masquerading as. If we followed this meaning to the letter, every jerk on the block that isn't there, ready to give candy, is supposed to have his house TP'd or something. It's NOT a nice holiday.

No, no problem bringing in Santa what so ever. I'm sure a saint would approve of this selfish behavior right?

you can't bundle everything! I could at least forgive thanksgiving, it doesn't have a lot to work with in terms of merchandising, It's mostly about stuffing your face so it's not too at odds, and it's right around the block anyway. Crhistmas? really? Lemme figure out how to make a functonal but fake shotgun for a head and I'll be over there to fix your-


We Wish you a Merry Halloween, and a spooky crhistmas, wait, that's not right....